Devotion
by Rhinoa Lunar
Summary: This is merely a drabble entirely from soubi's perspective.  It is all thoughts or conversation so it veers away from my traditional style, but I think it works well for this glimpse into his mind.


Devotion

_A Loveless drabble by Rhinoa Lunar_

_'He isn't answering His phone. i thought perhaps to move in closer but i know He is in no danger tonight. The only threat to Him right now is my self control giving way. His birthday is recently past and i wonder if He would have enjoyed more celebration._

_Damn! This paint dried out. i'll just add a touch of water and continue in my task. _

_i am trash discarded once over and given to Him as secondhand goods. Damaged goods even perhaps. i serve and protect Him but He doesn't yet understand. He asks what the things i want are. What i want doesn't matter. Does it? i used to know this was fact but now He makes me question. i told Him so and He grew angry. _

_He ordered me to tell Him what i want. i told Him plainly to love and serve Him and to be His always. He blushed and furrowed his ears downward but His tail waived indicating His happiness. Even with this new development He is further from me than before i think. Maybe knowing Seimei viewed me as burdensome trash has made Him feel the same way._

_i should be dead then. If i have no sacrifice i am of no use._

_my laugh has a soft sound to it. i never noticed it before. _

_Why am i laughing?_

_The harder i laugh the louder i cry and it wears on my ears. i should bear it._

_my resolve is settled then. i will go to Him. If He rejects me i will ask Him to finish me so i may no longer waste His time. If He embraces me i will allow my happiness for it will honor Him to have His fighter be happy for His kindness._

_i'm coming for you._

_i'm coming to you now._

_Do You hear me opening your door? Your face is like an angel when You are sleeping. _

_Don't be angry. Please, don't be angry. Your lips are soft as i kiss them and kneel at Your bedside. _

_You are awake and confused.'_

"Soubi?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you here? What time is it?"

"Does it matter?"

"You always confuse me but…I guess you're not hurting anything."

'_You are perfect even when just waking up. i'm nearly blinded by desire for Your beauty.'_

"You remember what i said before?"

'_Your nod is so adorable when Your ears twitch that way.'_

"Then You know why i'm here. You ordered me to want for myself."

'_This is why i'm moving to you now. You are allowing me to embrace You. Your blush feels warm against my skin.'_

"i do want. i do need."

'_You accept my kisses now almost freely. i cannot express in words the joy i feel. Words are useless to us now.'_

"i want to take Your ears now."

"Will it hurt, Soubi?"

"At first. But it gets better. If it doesn't You can punish me as harshly as You want."

"I don't want that. I…Is this going to connect us the way we're supposed to be?"

"i don't know. It might, but it might not."

"Then you really just want this? You really just want me?"

"Yes."

"Then that's the least I can do for you."

_my hands exploring You now move under Your nightshirt as the words flow from Your lips. my desire growing painful even now. i kiss every newly exposed piece of You in worship of Your perfection._

_You are all i want._

_You are all i need._

_You are my God._

"Ritsuka, i love You."

**A/N: **Hi its Rhinoa! Sorry for the delay in Have a Little Faith. I have become obsessed with Loveless and am reading the manga at a rate of two volumes a day complete with cursing and screaming at everything being thrown at poor soubi and Ritsuka. I wanted to go into a big psychological explination for this drabble but it seems pointless now for some reason. All I'll say is that soubi cannot fathom self value outside of his sacrifice. If he's useless to Ritsuka he has no reason to live. He's content and even happy with this arrangement. He enjoys being an object for Ritsuka but he does have a mind and heart of his own. They just don't function like a person in our modern world might think normal. However, I am a part of the fetish scene to an extent and soubi behaves EXACTLY as I do when devoted to a master or mistress. I know the joy in being coveted as an object and how the adoration of others reflects well on my master's training and taste. I do not let my mind go too far in that direction because I am fairly independent. However as such I do understand soubi on a level some may not because of it. I'll try to finish more of my ongoing projects though classes are becoming quite demanding and I am making writing my original stories like a job on my days off from work and school. This means six to eight hours in front of my computer writing until I have a complete manuscript ready to try and get published. Wish me luck! ^_^ Until next time, I love you all!


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